Do my glasses make me look pretentious? The funny things we worry about…

So far, I think my blog posts have been steering towards personal development lately rather than funny anecdotes on what I’m doing to learn code. The actual learning has sort of been put on the back burner as I’m kind of creating websites for real clients at the moment. Which is exciting right? Yes and no. Mostly yes, but the no comes in when I start worrying about little things like “Do my glasses make me look pretentious?”

And yes, that’s a question I really did ask my sister after I got my brand new frames. Her prompt reply was yes, and I felt a little disappointed. They’re thicker black frames with bamboo sides and the truth is that I really love them. I more love the fact that I can see without having to squint through my severely scratched old pair, but still, they’re a little unique and cool. There is a point to this, I promise! While I was focusing on the issue of how other people would perceive me if I wore these out in public, I completely missed how it sapped all of my joy in being able to enjoy them myself. And for what? In the same line as that thought train, I realized that when I’m working on these projects and creating websites I’m extremely apologetic. I make sure they know that I’m just learning this stuff and I don’t feel like I can really take any creative license or share any input on some changes I see that would be beneficial. Of course, customer satisfaction is the number one priority, but why do I feel like I have to apologize for what I’m doing for them? It’s an odd habit, but one I’d like to break.

Here are just a couple of facts I realized:

1. They’ve come to me for help and advice since it is something I’m learning and they’re not
2. I’m fairly decent at design, flow, and logical content. (I think it’s my creative side coming out in digital form)
3. I can do something they either can’t or don’t want to do.

So again, why the apologies? The real end goal is to create something easy and pleasant for the user, a beautiful site the owner can be proud of, and ultimately something that draws business to them. I’m trying to get in the habit of reprogramming my default thinking settings and focus on doing my best, instead of worrying about those silly little things that hold me back. If my suggestions could help them, I’m not doing my best by not commenting. If I’m not confident in my work, why would they have confidence in me? Wanting to meet or exceed people’s expectations seems to be my M.O. and it’s a tough thing to get around. You can’t please everyone to perfection, but I can do some things that most people don’t know how to do. I’m not an expert, but I have some knowledge. And that knowledge is growing every day, so I need to focus on that and do my job well.

So if my glasses make me look pretentious, so be it. It’s just someone else’s opinion and my glasses aren’t necessarily indicative of my character. Just a fashion choice. It’s my own confidence and believing in myself that should be the focus, and that’s something I need to fix. A bug in my code. The other important thing is that I enjoy doing this! Designing the web pages, managing someone else’s social media, learning the ins and outs of what works… I really enjoy it. And worrying about not meeting expectations before I even start can really suck the fun out of it. It always takes time to break a habit, but realizing the issue and knowing what needs to change is half the battle.