What is it about setting certain goals and priorities that inevitably means they’ll get put aside and forgotten? I’ve tried journaling off and on, tried keeping up with this blog, drawing once a day, reading 30 minutes a day… the list goes on. In this fast-paced culture we live in, the hardest thing to do anymore is slow down, take a breath, and really be able to see what’s most important and beneficial in our lives. I always get caught in the trap of not ever having any time or constantly focusing on external things instead of what I need. And self-care (the big buzzword these days) is actually more important than I ever really gave it credit for. I’m glad someone else is paying attention to these things!
In truth, one of the weaknesses that I and many other people struggle with, is making sure we are getting rest, recharged, taking moments to relax without thinking of the next project, and really re-evaluating our priorities. I’ve been in the workforce for a good while and I always felt like I was just doing the job. I didn’t really know what I wanted to do, I had no intentions on pursuing some big career and I figured I’d stay in the same old area for the rest of my life. Since I forayed into the tech industry, I’ve found new skills I didn’t know I was capable of and a drive to learn more. I’ve moved into a few branches of it, hardware repair/computer tech services, to web design and learning to code and now into the digital marketing aspect of things. These last three areas have by far been my favorite since it gives me a chance to exercise my creative side. And within that new arena, I’m also discovering how I need to work to be successful. For me to be my best, I need goals, guidelines, and ways to track progress, but if it’s too rigid I lose all motivation, if it’s too repetitive I go bat crazy. I am a workaholic but I struggle when I don’t get the chance to be creative. That’s where web design and social media marketing come in. It gets me out of the constant left-brain activity and gives me the opportunity to dust off my rusty right-brain.
Most people aren’t one sided anyways. We need an opportunity to do something different, ignoring those other parts of us isn’t healthy. I’ve always been the adventurous type but many people don’t realize it because I’m that quiet girl with the glasses who always sits in the back and keeps to herself. Video games and books have helped satisfy that part of me, but when I had the opportunity to take a trip to a foreign country for the first time, I dove right in. Now, keep in mind that I’ve never been more than maybe a couple miles into two neighboring states, I looked at the Canadian border once, and have never been on a plane. Money and time off of work has always prevented me from traveling, but it’s forever been a dream of mine. So last summer, after being able to save up enough thanks to my second job, I took the ginormous leap and booked a trip to visit a far-off friend in Romania. I guess when I go for things, I don’t fool around. I think I heard every conceivable reason why I shouldn’t go, and the most common question I got was “Why would you go there?”. I mean, have you ever seen pictures of the place? It has such a fascinating mix of ancient and modern nestled amidst beautiful farms and breathtaking nature. Why wouldn’t I go there? It wasn’t easy, that’s for sure, but it was the best summer I’ve ever had. The majority of it was my planning and scheduling, with a little help from my mom (when I suddenly realized that my flight back home included a night layover in Dublin, Ireland) and from my friend’s more than generous family who let me stay with them. But I wanted to push my limits like never before and chase a dream of visiting a place I’d always wanted to see. To prove to myself that I can do anything I set my mind to. And I did. The whole experience really brought home to me what I can do on my own- utilizing resources, making connections, and even navigating a new city completely on my own. While I was in Romania, I had a confidence I don’t usually have in my normal day to day life and it made me question, why? I wasn’t ready to come back by the time my three weeks were up, and spending the afternoon and night in Dublin completely on my own was the biggest challenge. Mostly because the data on my phone wasn’t working. So, to find where I needed to go, I loaded up a map from Google on the hotel Wi-Fi and used that offline to direct myself. Some times I surprise myself with the things I think of… because I’m pretty sure I could have just found a tourist map somewhere.
Boiling down to the moral of my story, while I do love the learning, being in a constant state of doing and moving into the next task has been hard in many aspects. And because of that trip, a lot of doubts I had about myself were proven wrong, I experienced an all-consuming calmness that I’d never had before and it really made me think hard about what I was doing with my life. It was a cliff dive into the unknown and the most peaceful I’ve ever been. I’ve struggled with stress and anxiety for so long that it has become a part of who I am, acne breakouts, all the doubts, all the insecurities of not feeling sufficient or having the ability to pursue things I wanted. But now, after experiencing that freedom and having none of my everyday problems, I have a whole new clarity and focus on what I want my life to be like. It’s been tough to not shift back into old thought processes, and thanks to my new vision and focus, I have something tangible to keep my eye on when I get discouraged. Unfortunately, I don’t get an epic montage of me working diligently with Eye of the Tiger playing in the background, but maybe it’ll pop up on my Spotify playlist one of these days.
At the end of all things, health is important in this crazy, drive-yourself-into-the-ground culture we live in. Take time to find peace and calmness wherever that may be for you. Re-assess your priorities, find out who you are and what you need to change to start succeeding. And finally, Don’t be afraid of an adventure, you are stronger than you think!
-thatgirlintheglasses
thatgirlintheglasses 
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